July 22, 2013

A Lot Like Love?

We all have loved, at some point of time.
We all have lost, too, at some point of time.

The luckiest of us have made it already. Few of us have changed courses. A lot of us have been hanging by a thread. Some are still figuring out what to do.

The idea of love is as cloudy to us since we heard about it the first time on TV. If you are a girl, you might have seen DDLJ a dozen times, played in your mind how your soulmate would bump into you in a train in Europe.If you are a boy, you might have stood outside a certain girl's tuition classes to catch a glimpse of her.

From those days when we had half-baked dreams and pimples to now, when almost all of you out there are either looking for, losing or fighting for love; we need to know..things change.

It starts with rainbows and butterflies. You hide the cellphone from your mother. You pretend there is no girl, in front of your father. You type out lousy emoticons because you fall short of words to express to your special one. Your phone has a contact saved as "," or "@".
You start saving pocket money and remembering dates on the calendar.Your friends think you're acting like a blithering idiot but you are more happy than embarrassed.
There is always a window blinking with new messages. SMSes flood your inbox. Your phone needs top-ups every week. Books are opened and closed after hours, without turning a single page.
The last page of your notebook has a name that has been scribbled over to avoid scandal in the classroom.

You look into the mirror in the morning and touch up your make up a few extra times. That messy haircut is gotten rid of. Metallica is replaced by Backstreet Boys in your playlist. Some perfectly grown up person in the world has suddenly become your "baby".
You talk for hours and your battery cries and dies in writhing pain. You charge it up and sit tethered, close to a safe plug point and talk some more. Seems lame when you look back at yourself years later but it's really important when it's being done.
Teddy bears and roses and cuff links are bought and sold all over the town.

Time goes by and the rainbows start fading. The butterflies look like moths and the garden of love looks weedy. Those eyes don't seem magical anymore. That hairstyle looks hideous to you. You find a couple of more "punctuation marks" saved on your partner's phone and all hell breaks loose.
Your parents wonder if it's the hormones or peer pressure when they hear you screaming within your room. Some gladiators among us break objects. Some dramatic ones wail into a pillow. Some head for the bar. Some slash their wrists. Valentine's Day is creepy now. Birthdays are forgotten. Phones are switched off to avoid that special someone.
You unfriend him/her when you have been hurt. Yet you stalk them online, hoping to see them miserable without you. You never grow up.

Still further in life your priorities change. Love is no more about dates and Valentine's Days or teddy bears. Now you can't take work pressure and relatonship problems and worries of future all at the same time.
You bend, often break. You snap, often at the people you supposedly love. You rethink your entire life and the choices you made.
You are attending weddings before you know it and you know your turn is coming up. If you have made through all this, you still fall apart when the families don't agree. You don't know whose side to take: the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, or the people who brought you into the world and raised you to be who you are today. Some crumble, some elope, some give up and take the easy way out. Before you realize, it's no longer a fairy tale. You are struggling to move on/ start over. Sometimes you walk back make amends. Some times it works, other times it doesn't. You lose hearts and you break them.
If you're lucky you are back to the rainbows. But then, very few are that lucky.

Things change, people change. Priorities change and everything else does, in due time.

You still made it further, and managed to tie the knot. The honeymoon went great and you have albums full of memories. But now you feel that's all there is. There are bills and mortgages and in-laws gnawing at you. There is a kitchen that needs cleaning, a house loan that needs to get paid. You work hard to make ends meet and are planning ten years into the future. You keep wondering how your own Mom and Dad dealt with it and go back to them for advice. Meanwhile some where a bunch of people are waiting for a grandchild/niece/nephew. You don't know what to do once again.
Career is going downhill at one end and there is a leak in the bathroom pipe. Between the two you don't have time to tell your wife she looks beautiful. And amidst the job, housekeeper and kids, you don't have the mindset to prepare your husband's favorite dish once in a while. Egos clash, unkind words flow and you think that DDLJ was the stupidest movie you ever saw in your lifetime.
By the time you have figured out what has happened, you have a kid who has a contact saved as "QTpie" on the phone and is bunking classes.

A meeting can wait for a few minutes. A TV can be turned off to listen to someone. A call can be taken during lunch. A message can be sent once in a while to find out how he/she is. 
Maybe she shouted at you because she had a bad day at college. Maybe he didn't take your call because he was with his boss. Maybe she is just emotional, not a psycho. Maybe he is silent because he's hurt, not egoistic. We have to spare a moment to understand the people we value.

Love is not for the impatient. It's not for the weak-hearted. It takes you, breaks you and makes you into a new person, often a better person if you've loved the right one.
And you often don't realize that your family has taught you the kind of love that lasts, the kind that movies don't teach you. You need to share that with the people you add to your life, along with the people you already have in it.

Life is short, though it doesn't seem so. You never know what will happen next, that's for sure. You don't want the last words to you guy to be "I wish I never met you!", before something happens to either of you.
You don't want to come home with roses a day too late, and find out that she has packed and left for good.

It is not always a garden of roses, it is a complete mess sometimes, waiting for you to get up and clean it up, together. It's for those who can admit mistakes, who can be honest and accept. Those who can take the sunshine and the rain alike. If you have not found that person, keep looking. If you are not sure if this is the person, get out. If you have someone and something's wrong, fix it. 

The tiniest things you do can save the rainbows that grow old with you.

Love is always there, you need to bring it to the people around you. You may not know, but they need it as much as you do, maybe more.

1 comment:

Kevin Collins said...

Hi. I really enjoyed my brief visit on your site and I’ll be sure to be back for more.
Can I contact you through email address?

Please email me back.

Thanks!
Kevin
kevincollins1011 gmail.com