Who exactly do u call a "loner"?
Someone who sits in a corner of a crowded room and looks into empty space?
Or someone who doesn't seem to pay attention to what people around him say....and snaps back to reality on being reprimanded....
Maybe someone who cuts conversations short and walks off to be on his own....
Perhaps someone who has no friends to talk to...or someone who shuns the very idea of talking to fellow humans...
I fit into this description precisely well.
I am tagged a "loner".
If only people paid heed to my explanation, I'd beg to differ.
It is funny how people confuse the idea of "solitude" with that of "loneliness". For those who have never noticed that the two things are entirely different, I'd happily elaborate, that, I'm not
lonely...I'm not a loner, either....
I haven't been staying away from crowd because I don't like being with other people. I've been doing that just because I like being with myself more than being with anyone else.
I do need to do this, because I hardly get time to ask myself how I'm doing. I need time to introspect, which I do a lot.
I love my hours of solitude, because it is during this time that life seems clearest to me. I feel happiest when I spend time with myself. I listen to myself like no one else does.....
I have questions that no one but me can answer...I have answers that no one else has to my questions....
I have the right to tell myself where I'm going wrong....I can assure myself that what I'm doing is right, even if I have the whole world up against me...
It's true that I have stopped accepting others' estimation of myself..since a really long time now.
I have never been self-centred, but then I can't stay out of touch with myself.
And why I pay so much of attention to myself?
I know what I do seems odd to people who believe in gregarious existence being the ideal one.
I don't say that my family or friends have been disappointing. I have been lucky to have such amazing people in my life.
But there have been times when I have felt like being responsible for my own existence, without any help whatsoever from anybody else. And during such times, I have had to fall back upon myself and myself only.
I am happy to say that I have found a great friend in myself.
There have been so many things about me that I never knew. There were so many things I was...and so much more I could have been only if I had paid attention to what I was capable of.
I have never found any voice more reassuring than the one in my head....when things go haywire in life.
Living up to what others expect from you is an amazing feeling, but living up to what you have set as your own standards of existence is something what can't be compared to any other experience.
And I push myself to my limits only when I am sure I am capable of doing so....hence I have helped myself to cope with external pressure as well.
It's great to know that you are in tandem with your own soul.
And then again there are times when you feel like breaking down. This , for me in particular, is difficult, when I am in the presence of anyone else. Had I been the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeves, it wouldn't have mattered at all. I hate complaining about things beyond my control. But I also hate disappointments in my face. And the only one who I can crib about life's ups and downs in front of, is....no guesses....me, again.
I always wondered why people around me weren't perfect...But until then I hadn't noticed that I contained all the perfection I was seeking.
It has been a very fruitful transition, from times when I regretted being the person I was.....to this day, where I'm glad to have found my true self.
Unless you are in harmony with your own self, you'll never be able to fully appreciate whatever else you have been granted in life. And having learnt that now....I am glad that in this journey....I have myself for company.....
Would love to tell anyone reading these lines to take some time out to meet the stranger in the mirror..And I can guarantee that you'll no way be disappointed. That person in the mirror is THE best friend you can ever have.
To do that one needs to spend time with the self....not necessarily away from the world, but closer to one's own heart. There's a child locked away within it who deserves due share of attention.
The following lines sum up the essence of what I'm trying to convey here....
"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. "